also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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