Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
