...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
