I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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