I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
