Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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