Moan for me like Helen Keller
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
