I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
