I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
