my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
