Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im having a threesome with these popsicles
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we're making bets on your personal life
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
