And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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