I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
