i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
