Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
