this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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