i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
As shirtless as possible
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
