redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
