How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
that's an acceptable place to lick
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
