i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
