Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I looked at my own cervix.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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