While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
