highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
