my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
