ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize