State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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