So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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