fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i think my cat just said my name.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
