just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
