there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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