I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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