Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
