So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
