that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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