Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
