it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
