He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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