nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
