Non-Jews are for practice
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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