when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
