I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
