This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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