So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sarcasm needs its own font
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
