you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize