apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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