So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
