she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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