Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
