we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
