I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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