i think my tv is drunk
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
