rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
