When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
