3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
