dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
