When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
