dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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