I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize