I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
