question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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