there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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