Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
