singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my sisters under your porch take her home
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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